jleigh09's Journal

 
    
20
Sep 2006
12:09 PM WET
   

Ok so its been 3 months since my son was born and he is so beutiful he feels a space in my life that no one could ever feel. the love for my child is a love that cant be explained. Any monther would know that being a mum is being just that 'a mum' and finding time to just be me is hard. I'v changed in myself and sometimes i hate it my confidence my self esteam my body eveything and i dont know how to deal with it my relationship with my partner feels different the touching and the cuddling up seems non exsisting is it me? or is it just he has changed to? he used to make me feel sexy and special and all the things a women wants to feel but now hes tired all the time coz of his job and i just feel so rejected i know he loves me i just wish sometimes he would show it more i'm not a single mum but somedays i feel it. My partner isnt around we dont live together we cant afford private housing so i live with my parents and on the days we see each other i just want a bit of a break and he doesnt understand why. he is OUR son? is it so wrong of me to expect a little help from his father? i know he works hard but being a full time mum although full filling is hard work and tirering with lack of sleep and my son doesn't settle during he day so i am constantly on my feet or trying to get him to sleep or just occupying him. dont get me wrong i enjoy it but some times it is nice to have a day where i can relax just a bit. i just wish my partner would understand. everyday i look at myself god i hate what i see i feel so unattractive does he see the same? i dont know what to think sometimes my whole world has changed and as much as i love my world i'm not keen on me any more i want my confidence back i wanna like myself.I'm so scared that my son will one day see what i see in myself i love him i just dont want to dissapoint him.
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1 comment(s) - 08:25 AM - 09/20/2006
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jleigh09's Profile

  • Username: jleigh09
  • Gender / Age: Female, 37
  • Location: United Kingdom
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    JLEIGH09's Interests:

    About Me: i an 21 from England with a gorgous 22 month old son. I dont get alot of time to myself and i spose this is my way of getting my thoughts together and just being me not just mum, daughter,sister or girlfriend just jamie.

    Interests: i love music and art even though i dont get chance to draw or paint anymore. i love to shop for my son and partner and i love pampering myself once in a while.

    Favorite Music: i enjoy most music apart from opera, musical and classical i love r&b and hip hop i also enjoy a bit of regae,dance,drum and base and club remix's.

    Favorite Movies: i enjoy romance an comedy i love anything i can cry to i know i'm sad! i enjoy chick flicks an some action films. i love anything sexy.

    Favorite Television: i love soaps and comedy sitcoms such as fiends and my wife and kids. i also enjoy typical british comedy and c.s.i programmes.

    Favorite Books: I LOVE JACKIE COLLINS NOVELS THEY ARE GREAT .

    JLEIGH09's Friends:
    vikramjeetsolanki
    Talacia