Few things have been happening lately that I need to vomit out of my system or the bile is going to eat me from inside out.
She's been pissing me off by hopping on the PC and reading through my emails (and even my deleted ones I suspect). Whenever I�leave the PC she'll get on and check my FB account .... when I asked her why she says because she's interested in me. She's curious. She says she wants to see what i'm up to. Which all leaves me incredulous!�She wants to get on the FB�of the person she lives with and is supposedly the closest to in life to find out what I'm up to?!?!
I don't have her on my friend list because she gets upset at my posts. One thing that really upsets her is if I've posted something that she doesn't know about. Eg, I'll post what I'm making for tea and she'll bump into someone and they'll say "oh you're having such and such for dinner" and she'll be taken by surprise and she hates that. The other thing she hates is when I comment on the status of certain girls that she claims have a crush on me, like one in Queensland, three states away. Go figure! So because it was causing so much of a problem I unfriended her.
Basically my hunch was that she was prying, spying, sneaking around behind my back trying to find out what I was doing, but of course she denied that and said she was just interested. So I set up user accounts on the PC so she would have to log-in and i separately. She could no longer check anything of mine. She hated it. In fact it really caused a huge problem.
I did it deliberately to bring things to a head. Flush out the little foxes if you like. And out they came. As I kept digging "why don't you like this, or that? " etc. it all came out. She said "who is keeping a check on you if I�can't access your stuff? Who will hold you accountable. You could be looking at porn or anything. You could be chatting with anyone, or saying innappropriate things to people. I need to check on you or you could be doing the wrong thing. Who are you accountable to?"�
So it appears that she wants to play a role in my life of checking up on me. It wouldn't be so bad if I was a child, but I'm her husband and she's my wife, not my mother. And it's not that I have anything to hide (in fact I have since added her as a friend to my FB and there haven't been any more problems).
No, what it all boiled down to was that she was afraid that I was going to have an affair and she didn't want to be left - she wanted to leave first. She was sniffing around trying to find the clues - doing a little PI work on the side so that she could put the knife in first. Nice eh.
So that gives you an idea of exactly how high the trust level in this relationship is running at. Makes for a lousy foundation for friendship, intimacy and marriage.
Well i want my privacy now. And I don't give a stuff whether she likes it or not. She's just going to have to respect my desire for privacy and get over it.
The other thing she's been thinking about, is that if I might not have an affair for another ten years and that would put her at 50, which would make it harder (in her mind) to find someone else... so wouldn't it be better to get out now, while she's still young enough to find someone better. Screwy huh.
She really is a fearful insecure person, but instead of owning that and dealing with that, she makes it my problem. She really doesn't have the guts to face this rot in her life and would rather insist that it's my fault, my problem and that I should fix it all and make it all better.
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