banglesaway's Journal

08

Oct 2007
12:53 PM EDT

This is interesting...
looked at my old Web sites. Here's one journal entry...

04/27/05 2:37 pm ll What now?
Haven't given a lil update in here for awhile now.. Been using the livejournal more now. I dunno, just like the layout i have for it; real simple and basic. Things have been ok for the most part. Just trying to keep that happy smiling face on for you folks. Kinda hard to though, but as my man Jason Mraz says repeatedly in his songs, just keep on smiling. The U2 concert is in a week, and I'm psyched to see it yet dread the nite too because I don't know my sister's (lupe) final response to dan coming. And in all honesty, I kinda don't want him to come any more. I'm tryin my damnest to get over him and spendin that time with him, and having a good time will def not help. There's nothing going on with that either. It's more "see when I see you" and that upsets me a lot, but not like i can get upset though right? the fact of me getting mad etc is getting old and sayin we have to talk, when in fact we have nothing to talk bout because we are not together. so what better way then to just distant myself from him, and slowly break away. I was talkin to my friend louis early. i was telling me, I never have felt this way or never have been in this situation. Yeah I have had a crush on a guy, and him not feel that way towards me. I get bummed for maybe a few minutes or so and keep on trucking. But that's different from this situation though. I like him, I realllly like him. I have liked him for how long now. And we went through the whole process of meetin friends and introducing parents etc. And it's like...ok ...next step. I can only conclude that I care about him more than he does with me. And it feels that what he has said are nothing but empty promises. First it was because of school. Then it was because we don't see each other. We both have to put more effort. Well much more effort can a person put? I have been tryin to put more effort but I can only do so much. I want to give him his space as well. And it hurts that he doesnt call nemore, or we hardly hang out or let alone see each other for a moment. Yeah, it was we dont hang out or see each other but we sure as hell called each other constantly. Now its like i'm lucky toget one phone call from him. I try to call but I feel that that call isn't wanted so why bother? And it gets me...if you like someone so much..wouldn't you even try to find a way to see them? even if it was for a few seconds? even a simple call on the phone, a "i'm thinking about you?" Overall, it sucks that I care about this someone so much, and that maybe, despite what he might say, just doesn't feel the same way about me. Actions speak louder than words. And it really sucks..bc what am I suppose to do with all this now ?

yeah....compare my mentality then to now.

banglesaway's Profile

Username: banglesaway

Gender / Age: Female, 39

Location: USA - Indiana

Photo Album

1-1 of 1