I NEVER THOUGHT... Current mood: indescribable
� I don't normally do this, but I feel that I have to, cause holding my feelings inside and to myself is killing me....� Who new that I would lose someone so special? I never thought that the one I put my complete heart and soul into would just walk away so suddenly. I'm dying inside because I didn't even see it coming. All the dreams...marriage, kids, the house and just being happy with the man I thought was the one...SHATTERED!!! I can't help but day dream about the good times, and the way I felt when I was with him and the way I longed for him to be near me. But now, I' m lonely, I'm so deeply hurt, and worst of all I still can't imagine my life without him. See..at the same time it makes me think why did I bother, why put your heart into something thats not guaranteed, for it to just be stripped away from you? I know I shouldn't feel like this but... I have never felt a pain like this before and truthfully I thought I would be one of the lucky ones, to find something so real, so meant to be, and to never have to go through such unbearable pain. It's so hard cause I put up this font like everythings okay, like I'm happy, like I'm over it, but really my nights have been cold and lonely, filled with tears and heartache. Dang...why me? God...How do I get rid of this feeling?!!!� How do I once again fix that piece of my heart that been broken, to the point it's unfixable? I pray, for this to be okay, for everything to just feel normal. It's a fact that I truly loved like I never loved before and right now, I don't know if I ever will again. I am forever changed, and scared, cause I can't let this happen again and I'm trying my best not to become bitter over this because for some crazy reason I feel in my heart that everything will be okay and my dreams are still meant to come true, but at the same time why get my hopes up and set myself up for another possible failure. I don't know what to do....~Shanell
Add comment
