Well, I have been out of the hospital going on three day's today. That's the most I have been out since my surgery on May 12, 2008.
Life has NOT been great. I am mad that the doctor lied to me about getting rid of this gastroparesis (g/p) by having this surgery. No doctor I see thinks this surgery was a good idea. Funny thing is that I had to have three doctors sign off on this surgery BEFORE I was able to have it. SO WHAT THE HELL?
�Today I got up around 9am. I took my insulin. I had a smoothie that was left over from yesterday. I was able to drink 5 3/8--and that's all. Then I went to my dad's office for a little bit. Then we sat in the car by the beach. Can you believe I was tired already??? I guess that was a lot since I have been in bed--in the hospital for the last month. I came back to my dad's house.
Since I have been having so many problems I am staying at his place until I get some what better. I tired to sleep but all I could do was cry and pray to God to help me. I ate two pudding (sugar free) for lunch around 12:20. Then around 2:30 I are two chicken fingers (small round ones) and I am feeling like I am going to throw it all up.
I am misserable. I am so angery at the doctor for lying to me. He came in the room as I was reovering and said "YOU have NO more gastroparesis!". SO...how come the test showed I still have it??? I feel like this is some one else's life. When am I going to wake up from this nightmare? All I hear are great things from this sugery...why am I in hell??? I would love to gulp water again, be happy and not depressed.
They say give it six months... am I going to make it six months? I can't look to the future right now. I can only see the hell I am in right this moment. Now since I don't have any veins, if my sugar goes low no one knows how I will be able to come out of it. I can't drink that much...to make my sugar better and I have no veins to push dexro (which would make me come out of the low sugar).
This is a serious thing and I know it scares my father as well. How do you watch your child go through hell?? I am so glad that I have my dad here for me! If I knew how it would be now...I would not have gotten the surgery. But I guess I will have to see what happens next???
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