C. and I keep in touch now. I've let her know that it's ok to talk to me about the separation. Since R left her she's had the need to hash over every detail of what happened and keeps stepping over the boundry that I have to have because he's my bro and blood comes first no matter what.
It's been 3 years since he took his first steps toward the door. But for C it's like it was yesterday. She hasn't moved an inch since he moved in with "Mz. Thing" as I call her. I hate what he's done to his family. I used to think it was retrievable but now I believe it's over. Too much damage, nothing left.
Although C would differ with me on that. She'd take him back in a heartbeat! Today I got an email from her in which she tells me about her feelings when they passed each other in traffic. She discribes how her heart skipped and raced for hours afterward and then confessed that she sent a text message to him in a kneejerk reaction, to her great disappointment and confusion, he ignored it.
I know she wants to hear something�back from me about that, I don't know what I can say without judging her. Now she knows she shouldn't have sent him the text. Oh well, livin and learnin - aren't we all?
As for me, I'm hugely disappointed in my bro, I never thought he could sink so low in his life. I can't talk to him at all�these days�because I'll express that and he naturally doesn't want to hear it from me of all people. I think C should move on. I'd like to see her get on with her life. She's relatively young, she still has her looks and is a very charming person I bet there is someone out there that would love and treat her right. Her greatest challenge is believing that and gettin out there. She's stuck - stuck in the past, stuck in the drama of the past, stuck in a dead marriage, stuck in the financial disaster they both created but certainly got worse once he moved out and lost his good job. She won't get a job so nothing has a hope of changing in that arena.
She told me about her therapy session recently, I don't think she's getting much out of it. I'd be reluctant to spend the money I don't have on the hour if I wasn't going to learn from it. She thinks it's an hour for someone to listen to her, but if it were me, I'd be wanting some solid advice, help, she's in a deep hole and can't figure her way out.
I've told her the best revenge is to live a good life. It's easy for me to say I realize but I don't see the point in waiting for him to come back because too much has happened for that to ever work. She'd kill him in his sleep if he came back or even worse - she'd punish him for the rest of her life.
�
Add comment
