Babysmallz's Journal

 
    
09
Nov 2006
5:15 PM CST
   

ok so i havent written an entry in like forever, i guess i haven't been doing much of anything lately, Its like every time i plan on improving and becoming a better person i just cant motivate myself enough to suceed. Theres so many things going wrong in my lfe right now its like i woke up yesterday and looked in the mirror and i didin't know the person starring back at me, this isn't who im suppose to be or the life im suppose to be living, but sometimes its easier to go with the flow and give up, because fighting for what you want is scary, and honestly i just don't think im strong enough.
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26
Aug 2006
5:05 PM CST
   

Today was an ok day. I called in sick to work and basically just hung around the house. I was planning on getting a lot of things done today but i was too lazy to get around to it. So basically its been a really boring couple of days. I have to get a hobby or something, I was thinking of starting yoga or medetation, or learning how to draw. I guess theres a lot of things ive always wanted to try but once again i just don't have the motivation to get around to it.
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25
Aug 2006
4:20 PM CST
   

ok so its been a really.... long day. I feel so emotionally drained right now. I'll write more tomorrow.
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24
Aug 2006
12:38 PM CST
   

i don't really have much to say today, I have an bad cold and poison ivy so im not really having a good day. Well i have to go to work now, (fun fun fun) yeah right. I'll write more tomorrow.
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23
Aug 2006
8:58 AM CST
   

ok so todays been a pretty mellow day. I mean like i usually have so many toughts running through my head so many emotions and today feels different somehow. Today i feel........ Numb. Right now im just searching my music collection trying to find a song to match my mood. I guess thats what i love about music even when you feel alone in this world when you feel like you have nothing or no one to turn to, theres always that one song that one voice that can give you hope give you something to believe in again, and remind you that out there somewhere theres someone or something worth fighting for.
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22
Aug 2006
5:08 PM CST
   

ok, so this is my first journal entry and i dont really have a lot to say, ok so thats not true i have plenty to say i just dont know how to say it. Thats probably my biggest issue in life not being able to express how i feel. I think its hard for people to say what they feel or what they are thinking out loud because once they do the cant hide from it or try to pretend it doesn't exist once you admitt to something its with you forever. I guess this is my reason for starting a journal because i have so much going on in my head so many things i need to say and i need to get it out there because right now i feel like life is passing me by and this pain and confusion i feel inside is keeping me from being happy and im scared and if i express that if i write it down and try to figure out why i feel this way and what i can do to beat it i can finally be happy i can finally just live. If anybody's reading this you have no idea what im talking about right? i dont blame you im kinda trying to figure out who i am as well.
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Babysmallz's Profile

  • Username: Babysmallz
  • Gender / Age: Female, 37
  • Location: USA
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